You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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