after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
