they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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