I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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