Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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