That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
