ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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