You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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