I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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