I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
