I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
