So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
