Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
