I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize