Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
