I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
should my penis look like a turkey
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
