hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
