I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
that's an acceptable place to lick
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
