They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize