I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
