Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
