Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
