You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I didn't notice because vodka
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
