There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
