Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize