East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
