brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
did i walk over a car last night?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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