Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
