Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have post one night stand depression
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