This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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