and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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