We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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