Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
