when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
