I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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