he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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