ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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