quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
