are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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