Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
