at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
