So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Damn victory sex feels great
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
