Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
