youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
