So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I need moral support for this bender
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize