Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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