how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
