her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
