I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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