I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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