He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
