Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
