:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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