So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
