This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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