Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
