I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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