Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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