I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
