Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
