i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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