I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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