I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
