I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize