I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
