And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
