So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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