No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
