How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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