Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
