When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
