no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
