Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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