AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
