Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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