There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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