I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
