My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
