he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
