I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize