You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize