so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
