I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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