You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
