Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
