i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
