It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
